DISCLAIMER: I have yet to date one myself, but I’ve come pretty close.

“Loser” boyfriends, the term we’ve all been hearing about and hopefully not experiencing ourselves. The conversation/intervention with your best friend about her “loser” boyfriend is a cannon event for many friend groups all over the world.

To start, we should probably define this “loser” boyfriend for the sake of the article and to avoid sparking any confusion, but rather specify. He is lazy, unmotivated, hopefully has at least a minimum amount of hygiene, is not very thoughtful, spends his time with his other loser friends, and finally, probably can’t imagine his life without his first love, Mary Jane. 

At first, these charming and seemingly obvious uncomplicated men can be attractive. You like how mysterious and unbothered they are and decide to give it a chance. He shows you his cool music and you like his “chill’ vibe. Two weeks pass and you find yourself buying your own flowers because he couldn’t. 

But you are so surprised! He seemed so nice and deep, but in reality, when you take off the rose tinted glasses you spy a loser. The signs were there, and like most relationships, especially in the beginning it is difficult to finally admit to yourself what you didn’t want to before. You are dating a loser. 

The question I keep asking myself is, what is sustaining the attraction?

“I dated a loser because he caught me at a bad time,” says a dear friend who shall remain anonymous. 

“I dated a loser because I was looking for the beauty and found the beast,” Kristina Hagen recalls about her dating life before she met her now husband. 

Is the attraction just his muscles, or is it deeper than that. Some women find themselves giving into this “loser” boyfriend because maybe he makes her feel more confident in herself or has the “fix it Felix” mentality that some of us can’t seem to shake off. 

Olivia Rodgrigo said it best when she said, “I am my fathers daughter so maybe I could fix him.” So even A-list celebrities are going through the same thing. Just look at Madison Beer when she dated Zack Bia! (that was insane)

Being around a loser you can’t help but feel better about yourself when listing anything you have ever done. And sometimes, that feeling overpowers any other. 

All reasons are no fault of yours. As women we are naturally more drawn to men to bring out the nurturing and supportive sides of us. But when it gets to be too far is where we need to take off those rose tinted glasses. 

It’s easier said than done to break it off with him. I know a friend who has tried to break it off with her loser boyfriend a whopping 3 times! So I hope it’s easier for you than it was for her. Putting yourself first is the most important part to remember. Sometimes when you dig yourself into a deep dark hole, you lose sight of the light and sunshine of the hope of finding a man who is not a loser. 

You deserve a charming prince, who buys you flowers and takes you on nice dinner dates. A man who isn’t annoyed when you decide to play your favorite music in the car and sing along terribly. Your friends and family love him and he impresses them with adventurous stories and accomplishments. You need to remember your worth when in a sea with plenty of other fish, pick the carrier of caviar, not the slug.